'Yes, if that's okay with you,' kind of thing, like you do. Being generous and kind generally happens only when you're happy. And I knew there was no way out. What would we like to do with the body? My partner went out with him, wanting to see him. We spent the next few weeks in a happy bubble. They would then re-test me in two days time. Some hospitals do offer earlier anomaly scans of the baby, but they will not show as much detail as scans performed between 18 and 20weeks. He sounded like a wild animal in pain, deep pain. Several parents said they would have preferred being told something, even it was vague. Wishing to be anywhere, but here being told the same agonising truth over and over again. I was then told yet again bad news. And it's, I can't remember exactly what it was now, it's about where the brain is supposed to form. And the next day we went back to the hospital and we had another scan with a specialist, and he confirmed it was a condition called holoprosencephaly, which I'd never heard of any of these words before, they were just such long words. It was interesting - well it was fantastic to see this fetus and to see this child that was yours that was horribly ill - but you didn't really get much opportunity to see that because the consultant was more about measurements and all sorts of blood flow and various other screens coming up. Originally I hadn't wanted to go down that road. And, it does not occur to you in the slightest. We had so much power, we could decide that this little thing should die. Several women had taken young children with them to the 20-week scan because they expected to see 'nice pictures of the baby'. But no. My partner really wanted me to, and by that time I had no sense of what was right or what I should do. I couldn't have the added responsibility for changing his mind. Specialist scans had a powerful effect on some parents because they could see the baby more clearly and in some cases people recognised which parts of the baby's body were not working properly. But everything seemed fine and we'd been sitting waiting to see the consultant, and I'd had an examination on the bed. Intellectually, I knew this was not the case. He started to scan me with a cold expression, then told me, "it didn't look good" and that "my womb looked raggedy". At first, I still had to deal with the physical implications of having given birth. I didn't think my instincts were worth much. Everywhere you look, there are happy, fat, smug pregnant women. We left the hospital a couple of hours later. And I could see, before she even said anything I could see that there was something wrong with the heart. . The milk came and stayed for what seemed like for ever. Never lacking a sense of the dramatic, it felt as if we shared the responsibility for the terrible, dirty act that we had committed. Mm-hm. We thought it would all be over very quickly but, in fact, it was another 11 hours before the baby was delivered. So at least then we went to that next stage prepared for the worst really. It was all going wrong and I wanted to get as far away from the hospital as possible. I was becoming numb to the whole process. Not marginalised into being a victim. After half an hour of lying on the bed, I was starting to get nervous, but was excited to find out that the baby would be a boy and that I could see his little heart beating strongly. I went away and came back, and she couldn't get a good picture. The scan was inconclusive, but the size of my little bump was measuring a lot smaller than it should have for 10 weeks. Trying to carry on as normal, working and putting on a brave face. It feels very lonely and isolating. It was a bit worrying but on the plus side I got an extra couple of scans and an extra couple of pictures. He bluntly told me, he wasn't interested in whatever was seen before, he was only going to go by what he saw that day. In fact, interestingly enough, going sort of. I know I could have delivered him in a quarter of the time, but I couldn't bear the thought of him leaving me. Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommys Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. Tears started to roll down my face. We both thought we would like some good to come out of this horrible experience, so wanted to talk to somebody about the possibility of using the body for research purposes. So obviously quite relaxed. There were also two spots on his heart, which were "soft markers" for Down's syndrome. (See. The 18-20 week antenatal scan and further tests. And it was then because we were at 20 weeks by this point, there was only fairly short window to actually, to get some more tests done, find out what the problems were, and then make any decisions that might have to be made. As I say, I'm not a very nice person at the moment. But you know I knew we had, we had to make a decision that was right for the baby as well. My mum arrived early to look after our son, and my partner and I got a cab to the hospital. The consultant at the time wasn't really that interested in that imagery. It was another consultant, who said, "I'm afraid I have some bad news - your baby has Down's syndrome." If you are offered further tests, you will be given more information about them so that you can decide whether or not you want to have them. I've still had no cramps or bleeding so fingers crossed everything is ok I just couldn't believe I fell down the stairs, I can't remember the last time I ever did that! Some parents wondered if it was possible to have the same scan done at 16 weeks rather than 20 weeks. I was told they needed to do a blood test to get a bench mark of my hormone levels. The nursery I had selected for our two-year-old son; my maternity leave; the bunk beds; the summer holiday suitable for a newborn baby. Sam reassured me, but the guilt had hit me along with the feeling that our world was falling apart. 17/12/2020 17:13. He felt strong and fit and healthy. She didn't say at the time that it was a major problem or that it was something to watch out for. They sort of drew some diagrams, and they said, 'But we need to refer you to a specialist to confirm the diagnosis'. I felt sad, but not the complete devastation of the last scan as they had seen a change of some sort. We needed closure, to allow us to grieve properly. Which is what I'd seen. And also what the prognosis would mean for our two year old: now a very happy child, he would have a completely different childhood with such an ill sibling. Impact of the 20-week and later specialist scans And shortly after that, that scan we'd finished and the consultant leant back and said, 'I'm afraid we have some problems here'. Went back a week later for the scan and, you were with me for this one, weren't you? I was told this was common as my body and hormones still thought I was pregnant. The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG) have produced a report on Termination of Pregnancy for Fetal Abnormality in England, Scotland and Wales (May 2010). Most scans are carried out by specially trained staff called sonographers. And I can, the words that the scanning member of staff used, "Everything's fine", will stay with me forever. Sometimes doctors will wait to give the baby more time to develop and carry out repeat scans - this had confused several parents we talked to who had gone for repeat scans not knowing that the baby might have a problem. I faced another internal scan where I began to feel helpless and alone. Away you go'. We were told to go to the hospital immediately. The same sense of expectation. Maybe our son would have overcome his problems, survived his illnesses, led a happy life. We decided that we wanted medication to help me. On the third day, we got a phone call. [Husband] couldn't make it. The scan yet again confirmed things were not good, however the sac had grown. The first midwife seemed to understand what we were trying to say, and said she would ask the doctor to come and talk to us. I came back probably about 17 weeks pregnant and had the anomaly scan at 20 weeks and like most people expected everything to be fine and to come away with a lovely picture but unfortunately that isn't what happened. I think it's the same - in fact I think it was probably the same room, same consultant - and [sighs] I suppose it felt upsetting because at the dating scan you're full of hope and this scan we knew wasn't going to be good, we knew it was maybe the last time we would see the baby moving around. So we'd gone through the Down's syndrome or worse scare, we'd had conversations about what we would do, if it was confirmed that it was Down's syndrome or another syndrome, another sort of chromosome abnormality. Purpose of screening. Many people were deeply affected by their experiences of the 20-week and subsequent specialist scans. Surely he couldn't have missed anything else that is so serious x. The same unique expression he had when he saw our two year old born. She brought up a picture of the heart on the screen. This scan takes place between 18 weeks and 20 weeks 6 days of pregnancy and is commonly called the 20-week scan. Some of the other conditions, such as heart defects, are more difficult to see. Later, I did see and hold our baby. The first result, which tells you if the baby has Down's syndrome, is ready in three days, but the other chromosomal problems cannot be eliminated for up to three weeks. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Saturday came. Our position in our families has shifted. . So at 20 weeks I went for my scan with my husband, with my daughter, to get our photographs. And at that, I let out a scream I think. Last reviewed July 2017. We had the baby cremated. At the time the same thing had, exactly the same thing had happened to my friend a month before, and her scan was absolutely fine. As though I went power mad for a week, killing my innocent unborn child, and now I am tainted for ever. He had to come to the decision by himself. And it turned out the baby's heart wasn't forming properly, the chambers weren't forming properly. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. But the closeness has remained after the drama has died down. And the doctor - because it was a doctor rather then just the, a sonographer or whatever the correct term is - was scanning my wife, and she hovered over the heart of the baby and said, 'Oh there's the heart, we'll come back to that'. I know it is still early days. We'd sort of put those discussions to the back of our mind, and then all of a sudden there are other abnormalities so yeah it was a bit a bit of a shocker [laughs]. I had a horrible feeling of relief. This publication is licensed under the terms of the Open Government Licence v3.0 except where otherwise stated. And that was Monday afternoon. He started to scan me with a cold expression, then told me, 'it didn't look good' and that 'my womb looked raggedy'. I pray it's just her heart but I can't see anything else is wrong as I have been scanned by a consultant since I was 14 weeks and every time he has said everything looks okay and she is growing consistently. You have accepted additional cookies. chances of bad news at 20 week scan mumsnet. After she had taken all the measurements, the sonographer told us that she was concerned with the length of the baby's limbs in relation to the head. The people who did know what was going on seemed far too sure that we were doing the right thing, that there was really no choice to be made. Picture every packed football staduim up and down the country - all healthy pregnancies and births. And they took me into another room. Within two days I was waiting in my local EPU unit for further tests. Only this time, no cry came. Some of the conditions that can be seen on the scan will mean the baby may need treatment or surgery after it is born, for example cleft lip. Let a mum know you're thinking of them send one of our personalised Mother's Day cards today, Home I returned to be told they wanted to scan me again, another internal to see exactly what was happening. No, we really didn't, with hindsight we probably should have, but not at all, it never occurred to us to be worried about it. There was a very marked lack of amniotic fluid which made it difficult, not even for the scanners to see, that made the picture of the scan look very, very different. This one cannot show you anything, that's what's inside your mind. I noticed the box of tissues on the table. I think they perhaps could have done, if they had looked a bit closely. So I trusted him. My partner was away working and was waiting to hear whether he was having a son or daughter. unfortunately the 20 week anomaly scan can pick up serious issues, hearing heart beats at midwife appointment doesn't let us know what's going on inside the body in detail. So it was, there was very, very little movement from the baby because I remembered first time round by that stage, you know, that the baby was quite big and it moved around a lot at a later scan. The 18-20 week antenatal scan and further tests, Ending the pregnancy for family & personal reasons, Deciding whether to see, hold and name the baby, Photographs and other mementoes of the baby, Saying goodbye to the baby - services & funerals, Coping with bereavement - women's experiences, Coping with bereavement - men's experiences, Men's ideas about their role in ending a pregnancy. . We'll make an appointment with the senior sonographer, the consultant at the local hospital, and she'll do your scan and she'll be able to tell you more things'. Slightly marked from our peers. So I lay on the bed and my partner sat next to me. We had to discuss what we wanted to do with the little body after delivery. We bought a two tests that evening (quite lucky as I messed the first one up!). We'd just spent some time away on a, on a summer holiday and come back expecting to have this scan and be told, 'All fine. Entering the labour ward, I waited for someone to say, "Go home, you are 16 weeks too early." And at the end of the day however much we talked about it - that it was going to be the two of us to make the decision and me to actually you know, go through it and decide that that was what was going to happen for him - and I just, I didn't want to do it. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). Cardiac surgery can do some amazing things. And as soon as she said those words, both of us were like, 'Well what's wrong?'. This does not mean there is anything to worry about. I was then told yet again bad news. So we decided that, to have the scan and we went along I think early in the week for that, and spent quite a lot of time with the consultant after that. And nothing prepares you at all. (See 'Resources'). You get extra care and monitoring as appropriate and baby is proactively treated. We were denying him his life. Our week-by-week PREGNANCY emails are a must for parents-to-be. Being deeply unhappy and kind to others at the same time is nigh on impossible. The ultimate betrayal. In this information, the word we refers to the NHS service that provides screening. . And for that whole time, my partner and I were both crying uncontrollably. The scan looks for 11 different conditions in your baby and cannot find everything that might be wrong. But here I was, minutes later, lying down, waiting. Had 34wk scan last week and all is well - of all the babies found to have a two vessel cord, was told less than 6% experience any growth issues etc. Specialist scans are performed in specialist fetal units and if clinicians feel that there might be problems scanning will be done up to 32 weeks. Emma was 20 weeks' pregnant when a routine scan revealed that the baby she was expecting had Down's syndrome and heart problems. I tried to keep positive. How common is it for 2nd baby to come early..? The termination would be averting a tragedy. No, you couldn't see there was anything wrong. And as, and as soon as I saw the pictures of the scan, having had two normal pregnancies, even I could see that there was a marked contrast between this pregnancy and the pictures that I'd had previously. Do you have any thoughts about that? Registered office: Nicholas House, 3 Laurence Pountney Hill, London, EC4R 0BB. I think I don't everything just seems a real blur because it was, it was such a strange experience. So I was, they couldn't actually finish the scan then, the baby was moving around too much, so they couldn't scan the heart and the stomach. Tissue paper will be tucked around your clothing to protect it from the ultrasound gel, which will then be put on your tummy. We talked all night and thanked God for crap television. 'I was having nightmares and panic attacks. 80 percent of my pregnancies have ended in death and I felt like they were telling me those babies didn't matter. From losing my dad to his battle with cancer, to then having to face another battle with cancer and my mum; thankfully she pulled though. I did. Instinctively, did it feel right? Smiling at myself and picturing me and Sam becoming parents. And it was Christmas Eve and at the time I didn't think, the sonographer did spend a little bit of time scanning us and queried my dates several times and then explained that she couldn't quite see the baby's heart properly and would we come back in a couple of days? That was an extremely difficult day. Where we have identified any third party copyright information you will need to obtain permission from the copyright holders concerned. Try to relax and take it easy. What were babys measurements at 20 week scan? Many parents were shocked by findings from the 20-week and later scans. Instead, I had to raise a glass of water to my mouth, take a swig and swallow the tablet. Health professionals use the 18-20 week scan to examine the baby's size and position, and also to check if his/her brain, heart, lungs and other internal organs are developing as expected. The thing about that which I felt was difficult is that we could tell when being scanned that there was something very seriously wrong. She just said, 'It's a bit short, it needs to be checked' again basically. But at the 20 week scan, which was on a Wednesday, we saw the nurse at the local hospital, the sonographer, and she did a scan and she found that the femur length was quite short in the, in the fetus. For instance a couple who knew their baby was 'on the small size' were told he was fine at the 18-20 week scan, but discovered at 32 weeks that he had microcephaly. And so, yeah we got to, carried on with the pregnancy, kept seeing the consultant, kept sitting in the waiting room outside, because there was a terribly long waiting time sometimes, depending on what time you had the appointment. He was tiny, perfect and a Down's syndrome baby. Severe chromosomal conditions such as Edwards' syndrome are now often picked up in the first trimester antenatal screening but itwill usually be more obviousat the 18- 20 week scan, though usually a firm diagnosis will not be made until one or two specialists have weighed up all available evidence about the baby - which usually means that another expert needs to scan the baby again, or until the woman has had an amniocentesis. See you in -. Still, the consultant thought things would be OK. I can't remember the exact words but she said, 'There might be some fatal problems with your baby'. Sam squeezed my hand and told me it was ok. I endured 12 hours of medication and in the early hours February 7, 56 days after my first scan (at nearly 18 weeks), I miscarried our babies. Seated in the antenatal clinic with lots of expectant mothers with baby bumps. That's fine. And that, that was when things where it started going a bit wrong. And it was just a bit of a shock because it's not really what you want to hear - you don't really expect that. As I was called for my scan I was nervous and emotional. Just doing it. You will then be asked to raise your top to your chest and lower your skirt or trousers to your hips. All pregnant women should be given the booklet by their midwife or GP Screening tests for you and your baby by Public Health England, which gives detailed information about the types of scan offered and what they are looking for. I think what everyone is saying is that most likely outcome is that there are no problems at all. I was sat on the sofa working, my son was at nursery and my partner was in the bath. That they could have spotted something, or not? Have I misunderstood what's going on?' The anomaly scan, also called the 20 week scan or mid-pregnancy scan, is used to detect pregnancy irregularities significant in diagnosis of any of the following conditions: In most instances no serious issue will be found during the scan and many parents-to be will come away knowing that all is progressing nicely and, perhaps, having found out . And then all of a sudden, I was still laughing and we were all very upbeat, and then suddenly, he suddenly said, but I was still, still laughing, and he said to me, 'Oh, there might be a problem, there might be a problem with the, I think this baby has hydrocephalus'. the amniocentesis) and the pregnancy had already ended, or because the scan was not routinely offered in their region 5 or more years ago. Specialist scans So on the Monday we went in to see the senior sonographer, I think she was a consultant at the hospital. I get terribly irritated by my close friends and family. I felt crushed, I wanted him to at least acknowledge what had been found already. The consultant showed us the letter with our result on and, yes, there were the words "Down's syndrome". This was a ray of hope for us. Previous scans in this pregnancy and with my first child had been fun - a chance to see the baby wriggling around and perhaps find out its sex. All my plans were beginning to fall down. This might be uncomfortable. Has anyone been told the sex incorrectly at their 20 week scan? By the time I left the hospital, I was in shock. We had the same conversation, but obviously were not making any sense to her at all. And I felt like a murderer. The scan will find about half (50%) of those babies who have heart defects. I was given a leaflet and told to return four days later to see the consultant. When I told him what had happened, he refused to believe anything was wrong and said he'd sort it out when he came home. You do not have to have the scan. or sort of light chat that we'd, we'd experienced before with previous scans. Some things can be seen more clearly than others. Just wonder whether anyone had ever been told? A company limited by guarantee registered in England and Wales company number 3266897. Eventually, the doctor finished the scan and said that some of the baby's measurements were very small. I think the whole experience has made me a pretty nasty person. Within it are a number of recommendations for the communication of findings from ultrasounds. Some parents wondered if it was possible to have the same scan done at 16 weeks rather than 20 weeks. And they took us out of the scanning room, into a more quiet room while they typed up the report. You might be offered another test to find out for certain if your baby has one of the conditions. Sometimes a post mortem was needed to confirm the 20-week diagnosis to see if the baby had inherited a genetic problem (such as Fowler syndrome - see 'Resources'). Which she reassured us that she'd be absolutely fine, this was a one-off. Or, at the very least, heart problems. Rather sharply, my partner tried to explain.
Why Did Ins Choi Leave Kim's Convenience,
How To Get Qr Code For Covid Test Results,
Rosewood Sand Hill Careers,
Articles C