why do serial cheaters want to stay married

Constantly guarding your phone (sign ). Curious to see any other comments people post about a solution. These serial cheaters are opportunistic predators. Each time she says that, I suggest a one-to-one coffee for just us girls and suggest a time. Thanks again for the feedback really appreciate it. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. You cannot tell me that one person really believes that cheating is ok. I had a business acquatainance when I owned my retail business. Maybe that way I can get some of the money back she took from my family, hehehe, if only that was possible. Its a common misconception that cheaters dont care about their wives. My h knew before how much he meant to me, and now he knows even more, and he shows me more than ever before. Just like the assistant I hired and fired, I saw way to many clues with her and her real intentions and shut her shit show down fast. This was not her first rodeo. I would HATE to think I had given my love and trust to someone that used me. I puzzled on that a long time too. When you reach out, you get no reply or told they'll get right back to you which they don't," Wish explained. Your actions dont have to match your words. 17 Personality Traits of a Serial Cheater - liveboldandbloom.com Its not the marriage, its whos in the other half of the marriage. And the reason they haven't usually has to do with pre-judging their wives coupled with a fear of being judged and denied their needs in an unpleasant way. Ive been reading the comments since the end of last year, the ones about being betrayed by friends left me with a deep sense of sorrow for the posters but I was foolish to think that would not be my reality This second sexual affair was with a friend Words fail me right now in describing the depth of disgust I feel towards my husband and this fake friend; I had to take down all the wedding pictures off the wall Im dealing with a serial cheater clearly. He might have mountains of credit card debt and his house might be littered with doo-dads he does not need. Yet I dont think we will be celebrating until the weekend because my h isnt home until the weekend. Thats all (but maybe Im giving myself too much power again). The wife made the fatal error of trusting him AGAIN!!! Thanks again for your honesty and your perspective. It sounds like the best way to go about this is legalistically, like you suggested in keeping logs about everything and gathering data. 2) to be happy when seen (she always appeared in a mood with him , fuelling the perception that their relationship was over ) 3) she was aloof on the rare occasions she visited the office it was notable and mentioned by his staff. Romance, psychotherapist and author of Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences, tells Bustle, if your partner says what you always want to hear, be careful. I just pray that you have some support when you arrive in your new town. In this case, most men fear that their wives will divorce them whenever the true identification of them reveals. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. Repeat cheaters may be prone to infidelity because of an addiction to sex. Ever hear of hyper bonding? However, it might provide at least some cold comfort to know the nature of what you are dealing with so that you can leave with a little confidence that you are taking the right steps. I am a wife that loved her h, and actually knew her h, knew how he really felt towards me, thats what happens when you have shared a lifetime together. Serial Cheaters - Compulsive Cheating Signs & Treatments Options As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. So for a married man to carry on in front of the whole office would just disgust me. Now if youre a pig to begin with you dont mind wallowing in the mud with other pigs (ie in my Hs OW case, shes a pig, she knows shes a pig) but nice, decent, conscientious women like you arent pigs you just werent using good judgement and you allowed yourself to be swept off your feet. I also keep A LOT close to my chest. "They can look you in the eye and say things such as: What a long day at work,' when they were actually with another person.". However, human behavior is always complex and a myriad of factors play into the decisions people make, for the better or for the worse. But for a serial cheater, theres only hope to change their mind, and thats fairly rare. Women and men need to be called out when they behave unprofessionally. Even after confrontation they want to stay in marriage and make marriage work (Only no one will know it!). Its relatively rare for a married man to fall for the other woman. If you think that hes in love with you, its most likely just the excitement and infatuation that hes feeling since its been so long since hes been with someone new. I can smell that shit a mile away. FYI the Ow in my H life had tons of sob stories like that. But, this all came up again last week because she was emailing me again, pressing us to come for dinner. On the other hand, stranger things have happened and i realize that. Theyll go to weddings, theyll go to funerals, theyll go online, and there are so many online things that no one can even tell. Ohh boy, it must not have been that bad if she stayed with him for 20 friggin years. I like tough love and honesty. In the beginning, these guys are often friendly, charming, and non-threatening. The disruption of sleep, eating, work, relationships. I spent a year being told the problems in our marriage were due to me, so I tried to fix me. "It's . If you would answer those questions it would be so helpful. Her finances take a hit. Im sure you felt all kinds of crazy emotions after you talked to him. I think all this talking is shaking me up so I may just observe for a while. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. Many men and women go years without knowing that their partners or significant others have cheated until they see the affair firsthand. This would probably include most serial cheaters. That is what matters. However, this is a question only you can answer as every situation is different. Me wondering wtf I had done. Cheaters tend to put some pretty intense privacy setting on their personal lives too, so it's not just their romantic happenings they'll keep to themselves, Winters explained. As long as the wife puts up with cheating or chooses to take him or her back, believing that the affair is over (which it never is), the narcissist will stay married until the end of time. I didnt stand up for myself, I believed my lying h over my vomiting body and I let myself down as much as he let me down. I do not know how you held out 6 months. One time cheaters, on the other hand, will be more introspective and regretful. Serial cheaters have spent years practicing and perfecting ways to hide their dirty deeds. Is rhis a description of the president elect? He does not travel without me and never has. I have thought about asking him to shut himself down, but that isnt fair because he never does anything inappropriate and does not even engage in any kind of conversation that is R rated. I would have grabbed that damn phone locked myself in the bathroom and read everything whether he called me crazy or not, and then I would have given him 5 min to leave. Once you are gone, he (your h) is going to feel like he was hit by a ton of bricks and then run over by several monster trucks. In the world we now live in I believe introversion is looked at as being a little peculiar. All Rights Reserved 2022 Theme: Promos by. Its bad enough when a spouse cheats on their partner one time. Good job. Here are some common traits that repeat cheaters share. Youre hurt and you arent going to heal overnight. Your eating patterns are disturbed. If it walks like a jerk and talks like a jerk, ITS A JERK! And I dont mean that in a bad way. Your email address will not be published. You might recall this trick of the trade from the 2006 teen dramedy "John Tucker Must Die," but apparently the three-time cheater's strategy of calling his three girlfriends "baby" and "sweetheart" wasn't just clever writing, it's a legitimate tactic cheaters use to make sure they aren't mixing up your name with their other partner's name. Your Hs OW was definitely a predator. You may have caused a lot of trouble trying to break a family, but let me tell you this. You have come such a. Once my intuition told me it was along the lines of interested, I said, Hey, wheres your wife? Until she finally needed that sucker to hold her hand, as she had finally decided to walk away from her h, and go for a divorce, unfortunately she decided to target my h, after I had told her that he had helped out several cousins, that that was the only reason they called him, and nagged him when they needed something from him. Anyone with half a brain knows that most of us women feel unsure of ourselves in such a situation. December 6, 2019. He's looking for something new. What a wonderful lot you all are! You hear us lash out at the ow, that caused so much pain to us, and you dont take it personally, which I am so glad about. This person sounds dangerous. Im getting back to myself, and I like it. Exactly giz, dont drag innocent bystanders down the destructive path, by trying to act single. You were manipulated and used by a pro. Catching your partner cheating is one of the most painful things that you can experience in a relationship. I think I fell more in lurve when it ended because his w and my h made such a huge deal of it I knew that we must have something or everyone would have just tutted and moved on. If he has decided to use other women as a source of reassurance and specifically if he feels reassured by the affairs that he has, he will have a difficult time letting that source go. I just dont see how an affair could happen giving the context. Dont want to deal with financial requirements: A third most important fact is that serial cheaters dont want to deal with the financial requirements of divorce. Why Do Cheating Husbands Stay Married? (10 Proven Reasons) We had a huge heated discussion and I very firmly pointed out how his demeanor sends the wrong message to females. There are many reasons, Dr. Edelman explains. Eventually that all dies down, but even though you might not be showering one another with the same attention or affection that you were at the start of it all, typically, Nothing a cheater does is your fault, but the second. It truly is mind boggling the number of women who just dont care. Anyway he invested heavily and even took on a partner. The other ones he keeps for himself. They seemed like the perfect couple. She is no more than shit on the bottom of your shoe but always be aware there are many people out there just like her waiting to pounce. Hoffman suggests you "give them your password logins, share a calendar, over-communicate about your comings and goings. "Somewhere in their history, whether its parents, mentors or the culture they grew up in, they saw cheating as normal," she says. He has reeled it in a lot over the years in terms of being more cautious around women. You could read profiles and pick them out anywhere. Get a confession: While . But seriously, your Hs other woman was extremely manipulative and she knew how to use a mans innate need to be needed and to rescue a woman against him. That said, some people hold a rather controversial point of view that you can be in love and still cheat. He would get off the phone with me, then be straight on the phone with her.

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